GRUMPY SAM

He is living a lonely, depressed life and a new friend seems to be getting him back into the real world. Then an untended mistake is made...

Sam looks around his living room. It’s in its usual mess; one shoe looks like it is on the run with two socks in hot pursuit, all frozen in time. The other shoe, nowhere in sight.

Trousers hang on the back of one of the chairs, shirt on the floor, (underwear) on top of shirt.

It is then that Sam wonders what he is wearing and looks down at himself to see that he’s wearing only boxers. He’s also wondering why he’s in the living room and not the bedroom (as if that’s something unusual).

Then he begins to recall; he had returned late last night. Though his body had been crying for his bed, he had decided to ignore it. But then he had been undecided as to whether he should continue reading the book he had started, continue watching the movie he had started, or continue learning the classical piano piece he had started. He had resolved to give himself time to decide whilst he undressed, and that is how his wearing had come to be in those positions described earlier.

However, even after he had dispensed his clothes in what might have been chronological order about his living room, he had sadly, still remained undecided.

But the ever thinking Sam had quickly derived another methodology to help him make up his mind. He had decided to put the three objects of his indecision in readiness, and he was sure that by the time he was done, he would know which one to engage.

The piano had been in no need of preparation because it was always opened, the flute always on its keys and the violin always leaning against its leg. So he had put on the computer, connected his external drive and paused the movie to where he had stopped previously. Then he had opened the book to where he was in it and placed it face down on the coffee table. Whether it was to do justice to the already prepared piano or it was just to give himself a little more time, Sam had walked to it and placed a gentle hand on it for two or three seconds.

But even as he had withdrawn his hand from the piano, Sam had found out that his mind was still stranded in the middle a perfect equilateral triangle. Frustrated, he had collapsed on the sofa.

He had been awakened by two knocks on his door. He had sat up abruptly, wondering who that could be at this time of the night, or who could that be at all, because Sam receives no visitors, not even one.

The first puzzle had been solved when Sam realized that it was no longer night but morning.

Now Sam sits, looking around his living room. He then solves the second puzzle by concluding that the knock did not sound at all. It was all in his dream, though he doesn’t remember ever having a dream.

Pleased with himself, Sam decides to fall back on the sofa when the knocks come again.

Sam sits up and tries forcing his mind to believe that the knocks were still not real.

Well, that effort is short lived as once again Sam’s mind is caught in the middle of a triangle. However it’s a lot easier this time because it’s all about music. Sam is looking at the violin, leaning against the leg of the always opened piano, the flute on the keys of the always opened piano, and the always opened piano itself, deciding which one to play. Finally he makes up his mind and walks to the piano, sits on the stool and picks up the flute. He brings it to his lips, deciding for a brief moment which melody to blow. He decides the melody, smiling, as he realizes he’s right; the knocks were not real. He places his fingers in the positions of the first note of the piece, inhales, and the knocks come.

Sam curses really loudly, but thankfully in his head and heads for the door, still wearing only boxers. He opens the door and sees a white man and a black woman standing at his door. Sam is sure they were smiling the moment he opened the door. Where did the smiles go so suddenly he wondered? And why was the man’s color rapidly moving from its original shade to somewhere between dark pink and red? Sam stands there looking at them for some time.

The man finally speaks. “Could you?” he says making a gesture at Sam. All this while, the woman is trying very hard to look away. Sam says sorry and slams the door in their faces and returns after nearly a minute. The man and woman notice that Sam had managed to tidy up a bit because all the clothes that were strewn about behind him when he first opened the door are no longer there. However, Sam is still wearing only boxers. Sam too notices that the man finally decides to maintain one color, crimson.

It is the man who speaks again. “Uh, we actually meant, could you put on some clothes” he says.

“Oh, ok,” Sam says and slams the door in their faces. This time he takes more than a minute but comes out wearing jeans and t-shirt with a painting of what the devil’s face is supposed to look like, (two horns and a triangular shaped goatee), with the inscription, that reads “this is you”. The smiles are back on their faces and the man’s color is gradually returning to what it was when Sam first saw him.

The man speaks again. “Good Morning”, he says, “we were just in this neighborhood and decided to call on you. If you don’t mind, we’ll only take a few minutes”.

Sam stares at them, blank faced, for a moment, then steps aside and says, “No problem, come in”. They enter, smiling, and Sam gives them seats.

“Ok” the man says when they take their seats. “My name is Richard and this is sister Munah” he says, showing a hand to the woman. “And you are?”

For the shortest moment, Sam’s mind was between two questions. He wants to ask the man, “Do you always speak for her?” or to ask the woman, “Does he always speak for you?”

He decides to ask neither and answers the man. “Samuel” he says.

“Okay Samuel,” the man again. “Can I call you Sam?”

“Sure” Sam says. A little pause, then he adds, “Dick.”

Another awkward silence follows, after which the man laughs and the woman doesn’t.

“So Sam,” the man continues, “like I told you, we were in this neighborhood and decided to knock on your door to have a little bible discussion with you. We hope that’s ok with you.”

“It’s ok,” Sam says.

“Thanks a lot Sam,” the man says. “So Sam” he continues, “do you by any chance know the name… oh sorry Sam” the man chuckles. “Do you have a Bible Sam?”

“Stop saying my name so many times” Sam screams, in his head, fortunately.

Then he manages to say calmly, “yes I do, but it’s an E-bible. Meaning it’s on my computer” he adds in a sort of just-in-case-you-don’t-know-what-an-E-bible-is manner.

Sam makes an attempt to move behind his computer but the man says, “it’s ok, Sam. I think I have a spare Bible here.” “

Here you go Sam,” the man says he hands Sam a Bible.

I think he’s trying to commit my name to memory, Sam concludes, and the thought soothes him.

Sam hears himself saying “Thanks’ and marvels at his unusually good manners.

“So Sam, like I was about to ask, do you know the name of God?”

Sam now knows the woman can’t speak but also wonders if she can hear because since she came in her face has had this blank look. “You’ve just said it,” he responds to Richard.

“Sorry, said what?” Richard asks.

“The name of God” Sam says, “Isn’t he called God?”

“Aha” Richard says somewhat triumphantly. “You see Sam, that’s what most people teach,” he continues. “But God is not a name. It’s just a title, like president, king, prime minister, etc. Those who hold these positions all have names, right Sam?

“Yeah,” I think I’m following,” Sam says.

“Good,” Richard goes on. “Now Sam, the bible you hold in your hand is the King James version, a universally accepted version. Do you know how to find your way around in the bible?” Richard asks and then adds with a little laugh. “I mean if it’s not an E-bible”

“I think I can try,” Sam says without a little laugh.

“Then you will like to turn to Exodus chapter six and verse three and let’s see what it says there.”

Sam flips through some pages for some time. Richard is just about leaning forward to render some assistance when Sam stops and Richard knows that he’s found the verse. “I guess you’re there,” Richard says.

“Yes I am “Sam replies.

“Good, could you read it, please?”

“Sure,” Sam says and also notices with some relief that Richard has stopped saying his name.

Sam looks down at the opened bible for some seconds as Richard and Munah awaits him. Then he sighs and looks up at Richard.

“I asked if you could read it,” Richard reminds Sam.

“I did,” Sam replies.

“You did?” Richard asks a puzzled look on his face. But then he quickly goes on before Sam could reply, “Ok, I actually mean read it out loud.”

“Oh that is what you mean?” Sam says and starts to read. “And I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, by the name of God Almighty, but by my name, Jehovah was I not known to them.

There you have it,” Richard says somewhat triumphant again. “No doubt you noticed how God Almighty says ‘by my name Jehovah.’”

Sam nods nonchalantly.

“Ok” Richard says. “So it’s clear that God is not his name and he shows us his name so that we can use it”

Richard pauses awaiting Sam to say something. Sam sits quietly, awaiting Richard to continue.

Richard continues, “So these and a lot of other truths I will like for us to discover together. If you can give us a day or two in the week for us to study the bible together, we will really appreciate it.”

This time Richard pauses and seems determined not to speak until he gets a response from Sam.

Sam realizes this and starts to speak, shocking himself while delighting his guests. He cannot believe that he is actually giving them a schedule.

When he is done talking, he’s left with the thought that these people must be really special, because since that fateful day, he has always dealt with people only on official business level. To him there was nobody called Satan. All humans were devils and if he had had a say in coming on earth, he would have chosen not to come as a human.

But now here he was, meeting these people for the first time and actually giving them two days in a week to come to his house just to read books and magazines together.

So is there any question or anything you wanna say?” Richard asks as he and Munah smile broadly.

Looking at the smile or Munah’s face Sam knows she can hear so he says, “yeah I have question. Does she speak?” He cocks his head in the direction of Munah. Richard and Munah both burst out laughing. Sam does not find it funny and does not laugh. In fact, Sam has found nothing funny for the past seven years. So even as Munah says she’s not a mute, but simply wanted to leave the conversation to the boys, Sam is wondering how come he is so receptive to these humans.

“Maybe they are special.” Sam concludes in his head. “Yes, they must be really special”. He sees them off to the door and returns, still puzzled at his good reception.

Meanwhile on the other side of the door, Richard and Munah are also surprised as they try to figure why the neighbors call the guy ‘Zombie Sam.’ He’s not a bad guy at all.

* * *

And so the studies go on for several weeks, twice each week. Richard comes all the time with different people, sometimes a woman, sometimes a man. Sam does the listening and only speaks when he’s asked to. He never asks any questions. Neither does he laugh, even though there are a good number of light moments when everyone else laughs. But Richard doesn’t mind that at all, as long as the studies are going well, he is happy.

And this day he is extremely happy because next week is a special day, the biggest and singular most important day in their religion. And he plans on inviting Sam to attend. This will be the beginning of Sam becoming a part of them.

Sam on the other hand is telling himself to manage at least a smile today. These people are not devils like the rest. In fact, these people might just make him start investigating others. He is sure there are others out there like them. They might just be the ones to bring him back to life.

He has just tidied up the living room; with the exception of the empty can of coke he has just finished drinking. He’s trying to shoot it in the waste basket from a distance and has failed twice. He’s poised to take the third shot when two knocks come on the door. Sam knows whose they are ordered them to come in. Richard enters with yet another woman and they stop when they see Sam. Sam takes the shot and gets it right this time. Richard and the woman applaud him and he turns around with the smile Richard has been wishing for the past weeks.

“Please meet Kebeh,” Richard says showing a hand to the woman. Sam turns to her, still smiling and she’s also smiling. However Sam’s smile vanishes instantly and so does the woman’s.

Richard takes no notice of this as he’s already making himself comfortable, taking the chair he now claims as his in Sam’s house.

Sam and Kebeh remain standing, staring at each other. Kebeh is the first to break the eye-to-eye stare as Richard orders her to take a seat. She walks to her seat in a dazed manner. Richard still doesn’t notice, he’s too enthusiastic to pay any attention to unusual things.

However, as soon as the study starts, Richard begins to notice that there is something definitely wrong with his Bible student today. The first two weeks when they started these studies Sam had not said “Amen” at the end of the prayers. Then gradually he began to say “amen”, but today, not only does he not say “amen,” he remains bowed after the prayer ends, even though Richard notices from the side of his head that his eyes are still opened. Richard waits for a while, but Sam’s head still remains bowed.

“Sam?” Richard says, expecting Sam be startled. However he’s not. He raises his head slowly, looks at Richard and heaves a heavy sigh.

“Is everything alright Sam?” Richard asks.

“No Dick” Sam says coldly, “Everything is not alright. I’ve got some questions. Better still I’ve got some things to say.”

Richard looks at Sam and is shocked by what he sees in his eyes; anger? Hate? Bitterness? He cannot tell, but it’s certainly nothing pleasant.

“The first day you came to my house, you asked me a question, you asked me about the name of God,” Sam continues. “Well, permit me to address that now. I’m sure you already know, but because of your entrenched position let me just remind you. Kindly note that I’m not here to convince, persuade or convert you, I just wanna make it clear that the name “Jehovah” is a product of both adulteration and guess work.

”I’m sure you’ve already been taught by your discriminated few who will make heaven that the only name of God gotten from the original Hebrew is the tetragrammaton, transliterated YHWH; no vowels. But forget the vowels for now, let’s deal with the consonants. The “Y” becomes “J” and the “W” becomes “V”, making it JHVH. I don’t care to know why but we all know that JHVH is definitely not the same as YHWH. But the story doesn’t stop there.

“Even after changing fifty percent of the name, it still could not be pronounced. This is where the guessing game starts; what vowels to insert between the consonants to make the name pronunciation friendly? So shuffling between two titles, Elohim and Adonai, three letters, “E” “O” and “A” are inserted between the changed consonants, hence the name Jehovah.

“With all these changes and guesses, I don’t really see why you make so much noise about this name.

“Ok, your name is Kebeh,” Sam continues abruptly turning his attention to Kebeh, leaving Richard month slightly opened.

“Let’s say somewhere in the future the only letters that are left from your name are KBH. Along comes someone who changes the “K” to “G” and the “B” to “P” making GPH. Now if I decide to guess any two vowels I could put an “O” and “E” making GOBEH or maybe a “U” and “O” making GUBOH. I could alternate on and on, but no matter what vowels I insert it’s still not your name. Now be honest. Won’t you rather I call you by a very respectable title then to call you by a wrong name?”

“And besides,” Sam says turning to Richard again, who is stunned at this previously calm guy’s sudden aggression. “Titles always show more respect than names, don’t they? No doubt you call your father Dad and not by his name. Calling parents mama, papa, mommy, daddy, or even sir, shows more respect than saying names. Furthermore, royalties are called your majesty, your highness, etc. Judges are addressed as your honor or my lord. Presidents and ambassadors are called excellences.

“I could go on and on. So if we give respect to mere men by calling the by their titles and not their names, why will we not give the almighty God even more respect? Why even call him by a made up name?”

“Can I just say something now?” Richard asks.

“No you can’t,” Sam replies. “I’m not done yet.”

“You see, you were the first people I welcome into my home for the last seven years. If only I had known you were the very same people who took my only child away from me, I would’ve slammed the door in your faces, never to open it again. But it’s still good that I got to know today, because it would’ve been a little late after today.”

Richard attempts asking question, but Sam gestures for him not to speak. “I thought I told you I’m not done yet?’ Sam asks, emphasizing every word.

“I’m sorry” Richard says timidly.

Now the room is extremely quiet as Sam stares at Richard with venomous eyes for about half a minute.

“It was seven years ago,” Sam begins in a voice that Richard has never heard him use. “I was a normal, happy family guy; a wife and a six-year-old daughter. I wasn’t a religious person. My wife, yeah, she went to church sporadically, mostly on invitation from friends.

“Then suddenly she started to attend church regularly every Sunday and also some weekly meetings. When I asked her about it, she said she had discovered the truth. Well, I didn’t care much as long as she remained a good wife, and a good wife she was.

“Then one morning, after eating a quick breakfast, I was about to leave the rest of my family on the table, as usual and rush off to work. My daughter called out to me and told me she had a head ache and was feeling dizzy. I walked over to my little princess, kissed her and told her that mom will handle it. Then I left for work.

“Some time in the afternoon, I noticed a missed call from my daughter’s school on my phone. I called back and the conversation goes like this:

School: Hello Sir.

Me : Hi there

School: How is she doing now?

Me : How is who doing?

School: Sorry, but isn’t this Mr. Samuel Kyne?

Me: This is Sam Kyne.

School: We tried calling you but when we couldn’t get you we had to contact your wife. Your daughter fainted in class and had to be rushed to the hospital.

“I didn’t wanna hear anymore. I cut the call and called my wife’s phone. There was no answer the first and second times. When I called the third time a male voice said, ‘Hello.’ I screamed into the phone, ‘Hello, who is this? I wanna talk to my wife.’

‘Uh I’m sorry sir, but she cannot talk now. I am an elder from her church. Please calm down.’

‘Why can’t she talk? Where’s my daughter and where are you?’

‘We are at St. Joseph’s Hospital.’

“I took giant steps to the parking lot, jumped into my car and sped off. Three quarters of the way I encountered heavy traffic. I parked the car on the side walk and ran the rest of the way.

“When I entered the emergency ward my blood froze in my veins. Lying in a heap on the floor was my wife, three nurses trying to bring her to. Another nurse was being held by two men and you could see that she had been crying. Three men were leaning against the wall. The eldest among them came walking towards me.

‘I am the elder you spoke to on the phone’, he started to say, but the nurse who was being held started screaming, ‘Don’t talk to him or any of them. They are devils, all of ‘em.’

“She attempted to leap at the elder but was held back by the two men holding her. It was at that same moment that I noticed that the elder’s shirt was torn a bit from an apparent struggle

“I just stood there, confused, until the doctor came out and took me away. Then I got the whole story.

“My wife had brought my princess unconscious to the hospital. The doctors had told her that the little girl needed blood immediately. She had said she needed to make a call, leaving everyone thinking she was calling me. However, after few minutes, three members of her church arrived and she explained the situation to them in the presence of everyone in the ward. They told her not to allow the blood to be given. Jehovah”, here Sam says the name with so much disgust. “Jehovah will take care. Let him have his way because he knows best. No amount of pleadings and threats could dissuade them.

“Remember, that all this while I’m at my office, totally unaware of what is going on with the life of my angel.

“Twenty minutes later, the doctor came out and told them there’s no need to continue pleading, my little angel had died. My wife hit the floor, unconscious. All the nurses started crying. The elder bows his head in prayer. But his connection with his god is quickly broken when suddenly the nurse being held, leaped on him, screaming ‘devil, devil, devil!’

“Those were the last words I remember hearing from the doctor. My ears started buzzing and my vision became blurred. I thought I heard them calling after me but I was already running out, barely whispering ‘no, no, no.’

I went to the bank, collected all my money and moved out here, vowing never to become friends with any human.”

The room once more becomes extremely quiet but this time Richard dares not talk.

“When I researched why these people will do such a thing,” Sam goes on, “I learn that they say blood is life and we are not to eat, or drink blood. ‘Abstain from blood’ is what they quote.

“Well, let me give you another quote; ‘there is no greater love than this; that a man should lay down his life for his friend.’ If someone is dying because he needs blood, and I give my blood, which is my life, am I not fulfilling the greatest love of all?” But your god says no, it’s better you let that person die.

“Well Richard, I don’t wanna have anything to do with that god or anyone who follows him. I therefore order you to leave my house. Sam stands and growls the word “now!”

Richard looks really scared and manages to stand and say, “let’s go sister Kebeh.”

But his fear soon turns to absolute shock as Kebeh bursts out crying and falls at Sam’s feet. In between sobs, she manages to say, “I am so sorry Sam. Please forgive me, please.

Sam bends down and helps Kebeh to stand. He looks into her eyes and says, “I forgive you Kebeh.”

Sam hugs is wife and cries for the first time since he lost his daughter.

Kebeh then turns to Richard and holding Sam’s hand says, “you heard my husband. I’m also adding my voice. Leave our home.”

Husband and wife look at Richard sternly. He does exactly what they told him to. He turns and walks out.

END